Guideposts for Life- applied to Coconut Chocolate Pie

My whole life my mom has reminded me of the golden rule – Do to others as you would have them do to you.  Did you grow up with this as a mantra in your life?  When I had girl drama with school friends as a teenager, I would be reminded to treat others in a way that I would want to be treated.  When there was any kind of conflict or dilemma, this was a guiding principle in our home. 

In adulthood: as a friend, as a sibling, employee, teacher, neighbor, – keeping in mind this simple guidepost is transformational.  Many times a week I ask myself, “How would I want to be treated?” This changes things.  When I want to put someone in their place because I am irritated, when I want to give up on someone who is flaky, when I want to elevate myself, in those moments, if I ask myself “How would I want to be treated?”, it usually alters my response.  I turn towards a response of mercy, compassion, gentleness, and generosity.  After all, that’s the treatment I long to be given!

So the other day, friends came for dinner, and I broke a different principle of my mom’s by trying a new recipe when company is coming. Because it was “low pressure” company – a couple from our small group at church, they love us/we love them, I thought it was worth the risk.  I recently reorganized my cookbooks in the kitchen, and with the new arrangement, I am trying to use them more, now that they are more accessible.  A Martha Stewart Pies & Tarts Cookbook is one that I had wanted to use but hadn’t had a chance to.  I flipped through the pages the other day and marked recipes that looked especially yummy (and/or doable).  I found a recipe for a Coconut Chocolate Pie and it looked amazing.  I remembered that this couple we were hosting likes coconut, so it would be fun to make it for them.  I followed the simple recipe and made the pie.  And it bombed!  The chocolate filling didn’t set up at all.  I was so disappointed.  After a couple of hours, I moved it to the freezer, instead of the fridge, hoping it would firm up. I kept checking it, and finally gave up.  Our friends were kind and gracious.  I was irritated. 

My first reaction was to be mad at Martha Stewart and to mark this recipe off as a dud.  I was tempted to dismiss the entire cookbook.  “If this one was touted as one of the simple ones, and I couldn’t accomplish it, then surely I couldn’t succeed at the others!”, I thought to myself. Then the golden rule popped in my mind.  What would I want someone to do with my recipe? What if someone came to my blog, tried a recipe that I claimed was simple and when they tried it, it didn’t work, and so they dismissed the recipe (that I found to be a treasure)?  What if they just rejected the whole blog? I would be disappointed.  I would want to say, “Oh, no! Let’s trouble-shoot; tell me what you did. What went wrong? Try this, do this, let me know how it goes.”  

So, I decided to try again: to give the recipe the benefit of the doubt, to own the possibility that I could have done something wrong.  This time I looked on-line to see if anyone had made it and had tips.  I found a couple of blogs where they had tweaked things a little.  I re-read the simple recipe from the cookbook and evaluated my ingredients.  I realized that while the recipe calls for “bittersweet chocolate - preferably 61% cacao”, I had used semi-sweet chocolate chips because that’s what I had on hand.  I thought it would be fine.  But then I realized that the less pure, less dark chocolate probably was to blame for the pie not setting up.  The filling is made with just two ingredients: heavy cream and dark chocolate.  Therefore, each ingredient really needs to be correct.

We bought 60% cacao chocolate bars from Trader Joes and finely chopped it, as was instructed in the recipe.  And low and behold, it worked beautifully.  So, really it wasn’t the recipe at all, it was my using the wrong ingredients.   Which leads to another guiding principle of my life – taking personal responsibility for my part of a problem.  I find that our culture is especially prone to blame-shifting. We would rather point a finger at others than to self-reflect and own our part of the problem.  When we can “own our junk”, take responsibility, and admit our faults, it can make a huge difference in our lives (and in the lives of others around us)!

I have a feeling the pie mess-up was a divine gift.  It was a humble reminder to extend grace, give it another chance, own my part of the problem and enjoy the delicious rewards of trying again.

(I know these are deep thoughts regarding pie.  I guess this is what happens when a social work professor is also a baker.  Thanks for going there with me.)

Coconut Chocolate Pie

(borrowed from Martha Stewart's Pies & Tarts)

For the Crust:

4 Tbsp. butter, softened

11 oz. sweetened shredded coconut

For the Ganache Filling:

1 1/4 cups heavy cream

8 oz. bittersweet chocolate

(preferably 61% cacao) finely chopped

Make the crust:  Preheat oven to 350 ˚. In a food processor, process butter and 1/3 of coconut until mixture forms a ball, 1 to 2 minutes.  Transfer to a medium bowl.  Sprinkle remaining 2/3 coconut over mixture, and combine with your fingers. (which I love to do)

Place a 9 inch pie plate on a parchment-lined rimmed baking sheet.  Lightly spray pie plate with cooking spray.  Press coconut mixture into the bottom and up the sides of pan to form crust, leaving top edges loose and fluffy.  Place foil around edge to prevent burning. Bake until center begins to brown, 10 to 15 minutes; remove foil, and bake 4 to 6 minutes more.  Transfer crust to a wire rack to cool completely.

Make the filling:  Bring cream just to boil in a small saucepan; pour over chocolate in a medium heatproof bowl.  Let sit 10 minutes, then stir until chocolate is completely melted and mixture is combined.  Pour into coconut crust.  Refrigerate until filling is set, 1 hour or up to 1 day.

(The cookbook noted that this pie is gluten-free, with the crust made out of coconut).

It really is easy and lovely.  Next time I would like to top it with toasted almond slices.  Mmmm.  I have always wished that Almond Joys and Mounds candy bars could flip-flop, because I like the dark chocolate with the almonds.

(we served it with a dollop of whipped cream and we decided it didn't add much
to the flavor but added a nice texture)

Ice Cream Churnin'

Triple Berry Homemade Ice Cream in a mug (one of my favorite ways to eat ice cream)

Homemade Ice Cream.  There is nothing like it. I compare making homemade ice cream to roasting a turkey at Thanksgiving.  I rarely do it, but when I do, I think, "this is so simple and so great! Why don't we do this ALL the time?"

I have many fond memories from childhood of Homemade Ice Cream.
My mom would make the mixture and dad would man the ice cream maker with the layering of rock salt and ice.  It was a loud and messy adventure that always signaled summertime.

There are a couple of specific ice cream making stories in my memory:
The Fruit Dilemma and The Missing Cork.
I love how a moment in time can be memorialized in a way that then becomes a "story to be told" for the next 30 or 40 years.  (I think of this at times with my children in our home.  Wondering which moments, out of the millions in their childhoods, will become THE memorable moments – the ones that will be legendary to them.  And what makes them so?  Is it the moment itself?  The significance of the event?  Whether the story is subsequently told, or is it more about the perspective of the person?)  I wrote more about this HERE.

The Fruit Dilemma:  My parents would often make strawberry ice cream OR banana ice cream.  One evening, they realized that they didn't have 4 cups (the required amount for their recipe) of either, but they had 2 cups of each.  Mom was stressed about this and was thinking she needed to run to the store to get some more fruit.   Then my dad creatively suggested that they go with what they had and put them together and see what happened.  What happened was that a new favorite ice cream was born.  So Strawberry/Banana became the family's signature ice cream flavor.

The Missing Cork is a story about the day when friends came over and ice cream was scooped into bowls.  After serving, mom realized that the cork (that was always placed in the lid of the ice cream canister after the paddle was removed), was missing.  It didn't take long to realize that it must have fallen into someone's bowl of ice cream.  And so... a playful announcement was made that some lucky person had a hidden cork buried in their bowl of ice cream.  This lucky cork-finder would be the prize winner.

Banana scooped up

I guess both of these legends follow the theme of making lemonades out of the lemons that life deals you.  Which is in keeping with my mom's outlook on life.  (Which I have talked about HERE, and HERE, oh, and HERE.)

We have had a simple RIVAL ice cream freezer (the salt and ice kind) forever.  We were given one as a wedding present by my dad's co-worker, and we have loved it.  We had to replace it a few years ago when ours petered out.  And last year for Dave's birthday, my mom gave him a countertop ice cream maker.  It's special.  It's makes a much smaller batch than the traditional one, but it is so easy and accessible.  It invites frequent ice cream making.

As far as recipes go, they are varied and Dave and I have been debating on a great basic recipe.  He prefers rich, creamy (and fatty); and I have wanted to lighten it up.  We made sorbet a while back and it was AMAZING and "healthy", but super expensive, as it requires so much fruit.  We wonder if it even makes sense to make sorbet when you could more easily and possibly more affordably buy it at the grocery.

So, I called my mom to ask for her favorite ice cream recipe and she sent me "Grover's Ice Cream".
I texted her, "Who's Grover?"  I wasn't sure if it was a restaurant or a friend or a furry, lovable monster.

the recipe with my grandmother's alteration – circa 1950's

She called me to explain that this recipe was from Grover, a man from her church when she was growing up.  He was a very generous man, a friend of her parents and always hosted meals for people.  This was his recipe.  So it's vintage, we could say.  It's from the '50s. I love the directions on this typed recipe card.  It's so dated. Mom said she always liked this recipe because it is eggless and therefore, you don't have to cook it and then cool it before freezing it.

I made it last week and used my bunch of ripe bananas, just to give it a try and we were very pleased.  The recipe is versatile, and is actually a base for whatever ice cream you want to make with it.  I wanted to try it again...in order to honestly tell you that it is versatile.  We used a frozen berry medley. And it is super tasty.  I tried it with 1% milk instead of 2% just to see how it fared.  Ice cream made with skinnier milk is a little icier and a little harder when frozen, but equally delicious! Even Dave agrees.

Chocolate topped with slivered almonds

Then my 8 year old begged for chocolate, her favorite flavor.  I used Grover's recipe and adapted it to chocolate by melting 1 cup semi sweet chocolate chips with some of the milk in a saucepan and using unflavored gelatin in place of the jello.  (we learned the hard way the second time making it, that you need to dissolve gelatin in the cold milk, not in the warm chocolate-melted milk.)  I finely chopped another handful of chocolate chips to stir into the ice cream. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but it is super tasty! I think it would be great with raspberries...or swirls of peanut butter...or marshmallows.









THE SCOOP 
I also have to tell you about the greatest ice cream scoop that I've met to date.  I have tried many, many ice cream scoops trying to find the perfect one.  I won't detail all of the styles and kinds of scoops I've tried... you probably have done the same.  But when my mom was on a business trip with my dad to France last year, she bought this scoop at a cooking shop there.  It's our kind of souvenir - a kitchen gadget! After getting home and trying it she wished she had gotten a few more to give my sister and me and friends as gifts.  Lucky for us, she then found them at a grocery store in the states. This was great news... and yet, it makes her French-Imported-Scoop a little less novel.  Now you can buy it on Amazon online for $15!  You squeeze it and scoop and then release your hand and the scoop pops out.  Brilliant.
(If you want to see some of my other favorite kitchen gadgets go to the Kitchen Wish List post. )

Grover's Ice Cream (with my grandmother's substitution, and my updates)
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 (3 oz.) pkg. Jello gelatin (lemon for vanilla...or a corresponding flavor of your choice)
1 quart (4 cups) milk, divided
1 cup (1/2 pint, that is) whipping cream
4 cups of fruit (bananas, berries, peaches, etc.)
     or flavoring- vanilla, chocolate:

fold in whipped cream

Set 1 cup of milk out on counter to reach room temperature (to help the jello dissolve).
Mix Jello and sugar together.
Add 1 cup of room temperature milk.  Stir well until sugar/jello are dissolved.

Add remaining milk.

Use wooden spoon (not quite sure about the significance of this, but I'm following Grover's lead).

Whip 1 cup of cream in a separate bowl with mixer.

add chopped fruit

Fold in whipped cream.

Add fruit (and/or flavorings).
Stir together well.

Freeze ice cream according to Ice Cream Freezer directions.

Banana ice cream

Triple Berry packed and ready to eat

Lemon Berry Trifle: A Mother's Day Tribute

I have been baking and cooking a good bit lately and have had a hard time knowing what to post about this week.  I thought maybe a dessert, since it has been a few posts since I’ve written about sweet stuff.  I also thought I might write about something Mother-inspired.  Then it hit me – I have to write about the Lemon Berry Trifle! 

Trifles remind me of my mom.  And the making of this special trifle was done with a young friend who has a great mom.

Trifles are redemptive.  Trifles can be made out of broken brownies or torn apart cakes, or overdone cookies, or dry muffins, (or a freshly baked cake).  But when put in a pretty dish and layered with a little love and yumminess, something beautiful and delicious is created.  Mothers have the ability to do this too.

My mom has a trifle philosophy in life: When your cake sticks to the pan and falls apart, make a trifle; when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When you are feeling left out, include someone else. When you know how to do something, teach someone else (don’t keep it to yourself).

These philosophies have shaped me and on this day, I celebrate the impact that she has had on my life!

I was brainstorming with my friend Amy G. a couple of months ago about how I might could earn some extra money for my upcoming trip to India.  (I am preparing to go see some friends who live there with a small team from my church).  As we were brainstorming she asked if I would be willing to do a private baking lesson with her 10 year old daughter, Mary Grace, as a fundraiser.  I said I would love to do that.  I told her to talk to M.G. about what she might like to bake and to have her email me.  She is very into baking and watching cooking shows on TV (especially the cupcake ones).  When I got her email I was tickled and amazed at her culinary ambition.  She wanted to make red velvet equestrian cupcakes and a fruit trifle with a berry compote, “whatever that is”, she said. 

It was a good thing we had several hours, because we got serious.  We made both of these requested desserts and had a grand time.  Mary Grace is a great cook and was excited to try some new techniques.  (I think zesting was her favorite.  We zested the lemon for the pound cake and she enjoyed it so much she wanted to zest other things.  We ended up using it to shave chocolate for top of the cupcakes. She called it chocolate zest).

For the trifle, I suggested we make a pound cake and flavor it lemon.  She agreed.  So, we used my standard sour cream poundcake recipe and substituted a carton of lemon lowfat yogurt for some of the sour cream, and added the shaved zest of one lemon.  The cake was DELICIOUS! M. G. had seen her mom slice open the cake horizontally when making a shortcake, so we did that, and then broke the cake into pieces.

 

Meanwhile, we made a compote.  We did some researching about compotes and which would be good with this combination of flavors.  We decided on a blend of blueberries, strawberries and lemon. (P.S. it's strawberry season, make the most of it).

Then we made some fresh whipped cream and sliced some strawberries. 

And then we worked together to layer. 

It was a lovely trifle.

My mom’s trifles usually have a layer of pudding.

I have made trifles with a layer of yogurt blended with sweetened condensed milk.  You really can’t go wrong.  You just need some kind of bready/cakey layer, some kind of gooey layer and some whipped cream. It is versatile and beautiful and can be decadent (with chocolate and candy bars) or light (with fruit).  It has lots of textures and its own kind of serving dish.  What’s not to love about a trifle?

When I was talking to M.G.’s mom about this experience, she said as much as she likes to cook and contribute to her daughter’s cooking skills, M.G.  sometimes wants to go “beyond her ”.  She said, that’s where she benefits from having others get involved who enjoy this more and are skilled in a different way than her.  I so appreciate that and agree.  There are times you need another personality or skill-set to come in and invest in your child.  I believe that is a great strength in parenting – when you can see the gaps you have and seek others to supplement.

I am thankful to those women who have done this for me with my kids and continue to do so.  I believe it takes a village.

Happy Mother’s Day! Today I am thankful for my mom, who poured her life out for my sister and me, and continues to generously give us so much of herself.  I am thankful for my grandmothers from whom I learned much about loving and serving people.  I am thankful for Dave’s late mother who taught him how to love and serve – for that my children, I and so many others are blessed. And I am thankful for all the other women who have filled in the gaps and have invested in my life and the lives of my children... even with our broken pieces.

Mom, You Are Sweeter Than Chocolate!

Happy Mother's Day!  I've gotten out my red special plate, getting ready to celebrate my mom!

This Sunday is Mother's Day (in case you missed the memo) and it is a special day to me.  I really love to be with my mother on Mother's Day.  Often times it doesn't happen because of circumstances and schedules, since we live in different cities. However, this year I pleaded for us to find a way to be together for Mother's Day!  I want to focus on being the daughter and honor my mother rather than being the mother, wishing my kids were honoring me!

I have to say, when it comes to mothers, I have been very blessed to have a mother that is a remarkable woman.  There is much I could say about my mom, and I already have.  Her mark is on so many of my posts.  But since this is Mother's Day weekend and since this blog is foodie,  I think I will focus my list of accolades for my mother in this direction.  My mother taught me (and continues to teach me) so much.  Here are just a few pieces of her philosophy on life that relate to the kitchen:

•  "When you are feeling sorry for yourself, you should go do something for someone else (rather than having a pity party)."  I think my cookie-making skills are due to the enormous number of times I have made cookies as the remedy to my self pity throughout my life.
• "Let the children help in the kitchen when they are too young to be good help.  They will slow things down and make messes, but it pays off."  You are able to capture them when their interest for cooking is great and they will help in the kitchen when they ARE able to be helpful.
• "Many hands make light work" is a phrase she often quotes, and her involving others in the kitchen tasks are evidence that she believes it.
• "Haste makes waste" is another quote she often states to try to slow herself down in chaotic moments in the kitchen.
• "When life gives you lemons make lemonade" or in mom's case: when life gives you a dry cake or broken cookies make a trifle. 
• "There should always be a "brown dessert" if you are serving more than one dessert (she is a self-proclaimed chocoholic).
• "Don't forget to entertain strangers, for some have entertained angels unaware (Hebrews 13:2)." For my mom, it seems as though no one is a stranger!
•  If there is no dessert in the house, chocolate chips from the pantry can inspire some great treats (like in a spoon with peanut butter, or as a s'more in the microwave).

This is just a sample of the wisdom that rings in my mind as I am in the kitchen and beyond.

When trying to decide what recipes to share on this Mother's Day post, I decided to post 2 chocolate recipes.  I felt it was the proper tribute to my Chocolate-adoring mother.  The first is a classic of hers: Homemade Hot Fudge and the other is one that she and I have made together recently: Chocolate Bark.

Elaine's Hot Fudge 
1 stick butter
1 16 oz. can Hershey's syrup (2 cups)
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup chocolate chips
a little milk to make the right thickness

Combine first 4 ingredients in bowl and microwave at least 5 minutes.  Stir occasionally, and continue cooking until completely combined and thickened. Add a little milk if needed to make the right thickness. Store unused portion in refrigerator until needed.

It is simple, rich, thick and wonderful! Perfect for banana splits, brownie sundaes and just about anything else...like your finger.

Chocolate Bark (Homemade Candy Bars)

Recently I saw an ad in a magazine for custom handmade candy bars.  I loved the idea but am entirely too cheap to spend the money to indulge in that way (the website is really fun- but the candy bar I dreamed up would have cost $8 for a 3.5 oz. bar!).   I started thinking about how much I enjoy making Peppermint Bark at Christmastime and how simple it is.  I was inspired to make some Custom Chocolate Bark Candy Bars! So, when my mom was in town in February, my son, my mom and I did it.  It was fun and the options are limitless (you can find creative ingredient ideas from the Chocomize website).

Chocolate Bark

Prepare Mix-ins (chop items, toast nuts/coconuts)

Melt chocolate of choice- as directed on package (we used white chocolate Ghirardelli bark and semi sweet chocolate chips)

Spread chocolate in thin layer on parchment lined baking sheet

Sprinkle toppings on top and gently swirl together or press in.

Drizzle some remaining chocolate over the top, to secure the goods on the chocolate and to add a flair.

Place in the refrigerator to harden.  

When hardened, break with hands into hunks the size of your liking.  

mix ins: toasted pecans & coconut, almonds & craisins

sprinkling the mix ins

Mom and me making chocolate bark- Asher photographing

swirled and chock-full, ready to cool

finished product- sampler platter

Over Easter weekend, after seeing a post about Easter Candy Bark from Gingerbread Bagels Blog, we decided we needed to try it and it was amazing. Ridiculous, actually.  I had to take it to work because I couldn't get my hand out of the dish!

The Easter Candy Bark

It was crazy good

Easter Candy Bark (Recipe adapted from Gingerbread Bagels blog)

8 ounces, weight Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

8 ounces, weight Milk Chocolate Chips

7 ounces, weight Vanilla Candy Melts, Any Color Is Fine- we used pink

1 ½ cups of assorted Easter candy (including: Mini Cadbury Eggs, Cut In Half, Mini Robin Eggs/malt balls, Candy Corn, Peanut Butter M&Ms, Jelly beans, Oreos)

Measure out the candy and cookies. Set aside.

Put the semi sweet chocolate chips and milk chocolate chips in a microwavable bowl. Melt the chocolate

chips in 30-second intervals, stirring in between each interval. Careful not to overheat the chocolate.

Spread the melted chocolate onto the parchment lined baking sheet.

In a microwavable bowl, melt the vanilla candy melts in the same manner you did above. (You can use

whatever color of vanilla candy you like.) Be careful not to overheat the candy melts. Drop the melted

candy on top of the chocolate bark.

Using a knife, swirl it up and down. Then swirl it back and forth.

Place the candy and cookies on the melted chocolate/candy melts. Press down lightly.

Place in refrigerator to harden.

So go eat some chocolate and honor a Mother in your life!